Today I woke up to a text that surprised me and sent me in to a fit of anxiety (dramatic, I know). It was from a friend who stumbled across my Youtube channel and wanted to say she loved it. While this should have made me feel happy inside, it instead launched me into a state of panic. If one friend can find my blog/ Youtube, how many others can do the same?
I don't deliberately keep my blog a secret, its just that I don't want to justify why I do it and face peoples reactions. I've only ever told one person about my blog, my best friend, and that was only about two weeks ago. The thought that someone I know could be reading my blog or watching my videos just freaks me out slightly. I just feel that they wouldn't understand why I spend hours writing about make-up or beauty.
My friends, like my family, wouldn't understand my love of writing for my blog and recording videos for Youtube, and to put it bluntly I'm not sure what their reactions would be. I know most of the guys would slag me and I really don't think I could handle that. If I get a negative comment on my blog or on a video, it doesn't really bother me because I don't have to see that person everyday. This is not the case with my friends, who I see all the time. The girls, I know, would support me; but what I love about blogging/vlogging is that I can completely be myself and talk about my interests knowing that others are doing the same. My friends just wouldn't be interested.
I'm not saying I'm ashamed of my blog, I really amn't. In fact, I'm quite proud that I even have one follower. And I've made some really good friends through the blogging community. It's something I love doing. But lets face it, girls are bitchy and its usually people we know (and aren't friends with) that treat us worse than people we have never met. No one wants to face a sneering girl who judges them because they see what they're doing as stupid or boring; and I'm no exception.
It was only when I tweeted that I was freaked out that my friend knew that I realised how many people are in the same boat. The lovely WelshBeautyBlog has talked about this and it really made me smile. A blog is just somewhere to vent until someone you know finds out about it and no one wants to be judged, sneered at or slagged. But that got me thinking as to why I should bother stop doing what I love if people I barely know find out about it. I shouldn't and I won't. If they can judge you, ask yourself can they do any better? How can they judge when they haven't even tried it? Truth is, they can't. Until they put themselves out there for all the world to read/see they can have no opinion about what you do. So, feck 'em.
Blog, film or do whatever you want that makes you happy. Because at the end of the day people who judge you for it just ain't worth it.
