HBME

For those of you who know my intense fear and dislike of my own birthday and think I have gone insane and decided to celebrate it two months later, never fear. It was one year ago that I decided to start my own blog after reading others for so long. Out of sheer boredom during the long Summer months and to cheer myself up after a woeful year, I took to writing. To keep myself amused, keep myself calm and quell the boredom that consumed my life. What I didn't really expect was that anyone, let alone eight hundred and eight of you (plus my sister who I am sure stalks me daily) would take interest in anything I had to say. Yet one year, 365 days, ninety-two posts, and some very dodgy pictures later : here we are.

When I first started this blog, I kept it under wraps from my friends/family/whoever for fear of embarrassment. And while sometimes I cringe that people I know read it, its quite nice to know they bother. While I did slightly enjoy having a 'secret life' apart from everyone I knew, it really brings a smile to my face when one of them mentions something I've written. Mortified. But thanks. So if you do know me IRL, make yourself known; or else I'd feel like a right twat!

Without ranting too much about how this little space on the internet has changed my life, which it has; I want to say thank you. Thanks to everyone who stumbled upon my little 'space' and decided to follow or even read, thanks to everyone who has commented on a post I've written, thanks to everyone who has emailed me asking for advice or just to chat and thanks to all the lovely and amazing girls I have met through my obsession with beauty and make up, especially the lovely Hannah , and Aoife. So I guess the whole point of this ramble of a post is to say thank you...Yup. Here's to another year, I hope!

Happy Monday!

♥

A Change is Gonna Come

I'm a freak. I'll admit it. Taking photos of paper. If you read this post a few months ago you'll know that I'm starting my make up course tomorrow. After two months of college-free life and pretty much nothing to do, not only am I looking forward to being occupied but to learn about something I've been lusting over for years. I can't say I'm not a bit nervous, because obviously I am. But I'm also so excited to be finally doing it.

Like the obsessive compulsive I am (I jest), when I received my student handbook a few days ago I spent my whole morning reading and re-reading all the information it held. There is only one little problem with me embarking on this little adventure means that I probably won't have as much time to blog. I was thinking that every week I could do a tutorial/look that I had learned on Youtube, meaning I would be doing 'homework' and practising while still updating the auld blog. Just a thought. Writing is my favourite thing, so hopefully will have more time to do that!

Could I poke someone in the eye with a brush? Yup. Could I be the worst in the class? Yup. Could this all be a disaster? Yup. But I seriously hope not!

Wish me luck!x

Weighing On My Mind

Maybe its the emergence of the sun and summer months, but recently weight has become a major issue for me. Before now, I'd never really paid attention to calories and fat intake, but over the last while it has become somewhat of an obsession for me. Despite my friends and family's protests that I haven't put on any weight, honestly, I feel a bit shit. And in one way, I know they're right.

Weight has never been a big issue for me, while I do sometimes fluctuate, in reality I've probably never been heavier than a size ten. Small, right? I've probably only put on a few pounds, yet to me, I seem massive. All my clothes still fit, and I can even order size 6 in some things, so whats my problem?

To be honest, I don't know. I just don't feel right. And don't get me wrong, I eat. A good amount. Three meals a day plus snacks. Its the groggy, always full feeling that upsets me. I feel guilty when I'm hungry. In fact, I feel guilty eating. I worry that I will keep putting on weight. While I may have only put on a few pounds, I only have one niggling negative that I think about. My stomach. Were it toned I would be happy. But its lost that, and I feel massive compared to everyone else. And I know its crazy, but I can't help it. And seeing beautiful women in magazines doesn't help. No matter what we say, they do affect us.

After asking around a few of the girls, almost all of them have some problem to do with their bodies, be it wanting to be thinner, have longer legs, to be more toned or to look radiant all the time. So at least I'm not alone in this quest to perfection. But why are we like this? Surely we should realise that everyone looks different. It seems that all men want is to put weight on, while all women want to lose it. Why? Are we happier in the long run because we've lost a few pounds? Or do we just feel happy in the moment and then shove a muffin into our faces?

And why are we never happy? While my weight hasn't changed much, its made me feel a bit down about myself. If a friend came to me with this problem, I wouldn't see a difference in them. Yet I'm being hard on myself, which is a problem universal with women. Maybe instead of focussing on weight, we should focus on what we eat. Its so easy to order pizza or chinese, but usually we feel crap after it. So from now on I;m going to try to eat healthly, as as much as I want without feeling guilty. What we need to realise is that slip-ups are okay whether it be chocolate, takeaways or drink. I just need to realise this too.

Food for thought?

Anti-Bant 20th Birthday

If you have seen this video you will know that I despise my birthday. Ever since I was a little girl, my birthday is something that I try not to celebrate; I find it awkward, embarrassing and just plain awful. So when the day finally arrived, I did my best to detract the attention away from it. However, I did get some lovely presents (which I'm thankful for today, obviously!), had a nice dinner with the family, and spent the evening with my best friend whose come home from Canada, as I really didn't want to have a party or celebrate. So I have now left the teenage years and am seeing what life is like in the big 2-0's. My wish for no birthday cake and no singing Happy Birthday were sadly ignored..

some of the letters I got from the family - some of the birthday cards - birthday face of the day - products used - the beautiful present my wonderful sister sent from Canada - birthday cake - myself and my best friend

Products used on face: L-R - MAC Painterly Paintpot, Laura Mercier Secret Concealer, Maybelline Mascara, MAC Shadows in Patina (top row, fourth from right), Satin Taupe (Middle row, fourth from right), Brule and Cork, Chanel Pro Lumiere, MAC Melba Blush, MAC Harmony Blush (as contour), Jemma Kidd Bio Veil Complex

Complete and Utter Overload

Make-Up has been a passion of mine for years. Its only in the last few months that I've realised just how much of it I own, and with that, just how much I spend. This realisation hit me when I looked up the amount of points I have on my Brown Thomas loyalty card. You get one point per euro spent..

Suffice to say, I had shocking number of points.

My Mum has always given out to me about buying the "exact" same eyeshadow over and over again, and I have ignored this because to me their different. But when I think about it, they are almost identical. All neutrals, all beautiful. I decided to take a look at my makeup drawer and only then did I realise how obsessive my little hobby is.

A total of 13 foundations, 15 eyeshadow palettes, countless single eyeshadows, 10 mascaras, 10 blushes, over 30 lipsticks and much, much more.

And this got me thinking: why do I buy so much of the same kinds of make up?

Without running the risk of sounding like Isla Fisher in Confessions of a Shopoholic : Its because it makes me happy. The thrill you get when you buy a highend foundation that you've wanted for months or the bargain of a highstreet mascara is exhilirating. For that whole day, and maybe a few after that it excited you knowing that you can try different looks or shades. That you'll have of for ages and it will make you look better and that its "different" (debatable) from everything else you have. And then when that feeling goes, you need to buy something else to fill that little bubble.

However, seeing as most of my makeup is the same, I've decided a spending ban is necessary. For the next two/three months, I will try my very best not to buy ANY makeup, and from then on will only buy products that are completely different to those I already have. Partly because I have no money at the moment, and partly because I have realised that I can't keep buying products at the rate I do.

Is hoarding makeup (or anything else) a problem for you? If so, join me in a spending ban. It can't be that hard...

..Right?

The Fear

Over the last few months loads of my friends have been planning their Summer holidays to amazing places like America, Spain and Canada. Most are going for a few months to work and others just a few weeks. I'm staying here. And for the first time ever, I'm really happy to be doing so.

If you've read the "About Me" section on this blog, you'll know that all I have ever really wanted to do was become a Make-Up Artist. While I don't mind my university course of English and Drama, I know I'll never use it once its finished. A mixture between Make-Up artistry and journalism has always been my goal and it seems now I'll finally get it. This Summer, instead of going away to the sun and the sea I'm going to be studying in LA MakeUp Academy for two months to become a make up artist!

Finally.

After spending the day there watching the goings-on and meeting the lovely Anouska who talked to me about the course, my mind was made up. I start at the beginning of July and couldn't be happier, especially when I saw the course rundown. But recently "the fear" of failure has taken over me. I've been waiting to do this course for about three years but the idea that I'd be awful at it has slowly been creeping into my mind.

While I don't find it difficult to slap makeup on my face, I may be awful at doing it "professionally" for others! After putting so much into saving for it and waiting to be able to actually do it, I guess I'm just afraid it isn't my "calling" afterall. While I know my mini panic-attacks are completely irrational, the thought of failure won't seem to go away. So my little question to you, is how does one fight "the fear"?

What are your plans for the Summer? Anyone doing anything potentially life-changing?

While I Love My Make Up...

I love my dogs more...

Like the saddo I am, last night I ended up watching Legally Blonde 2 (absolute disaster of a film) on the television. This morning while doing my college essay I began thinking about today's post. Animal Testing. Anyone will tell you that I'm against wearing fur, but strangely animal testing in regards to cosmetic companies was never something I paid attention to. I would never buy a make up product knowing it was tested on animals - BUT - being the slight makeup snob that I am, I was under the insane and inaccurate belief that because the products I buy are more high end, no animal testing would be carried out to produce them.

Fail, Julie.

After doing a small amount of research on the subject (my poor college essay!), and watching some really disturbing videos about the treatment of animals being tested on, I thought I'd share with you some of the information I found out. There's little point in debating the pros and cons of it, as in my eyes its just wrong. Pixiwoo have a list of companies that don't test on animals in full here, and those that are safe include MAC, Nars, MUFE, Eyeko, Beauté, Laura Mercier, Urban Decay, Sleek, Estee Lauder and Illamasqua. Phew! Thank God, if they tested on animals most of my make up would be in the bin.

Those that are ambiguous in their animal cruelty policy include L'Oreal, D&G, Max Factor, Rimmel and Benefit. As much as I loved my Benefit foundation and was ready to repurchase, I definitely won't be doing so now. As for the others they've been removed from my make up drawer. For a list of all the companies that DO NOT test on animals click here. While I love make up and the little collection I have going on, not at the cost of an animals life. This time the price of beauty is too high.

Image courtesy of weheartit



What do you think about animal testing? Do you knowingly use products tested on animals?

Belles of the Ball

If you follow me on Twitter (joolie18), you'll know that last week myself and a few of my friends went to our college Arts Ball. I had been dying (quite literally) to use my new MAC Electra eyeshadow, and thought it was a great excuse to. I was possibly more excited to do myself and my friends' make up and get ready than for the night itself, but it was brilliant fun.

I completely forgot to take close-ups of my makeup before I left, as I was doing my friend's hair and make up too, but here's a few pictures so you get the idea:

Eyes:

MAC Painterly Paintpot

MAC Electra and Knight Divine e/s

MAC Typographic e/s (in crease)

Illamasqua Cream e/s in Stir (as highlight)

Sephora Black Liquid Liner (upper lashline)

MUFE Aqua Liner in Black (waterline)

Eyeko Big Eyes Mascara

Girls Aloud Kimberly Lashes

Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?

 

Being stuck at home sick from college results in a limited amount of activities that can be undertaken. When I'm not watching the television, on my newly fixed laptop or moaning and whining about my numerous symptoms; there isn't a lot to do.

One of my missions for this year is to learn to cook/bake, as sadly I fear I have inherited my sister's lack of talent for in that department. Not only is the food she produces inedible, but she very nearly burns down the house in the process of cooking it. Being that I'm only a "beginner", I thought I'd start off slow, with something simple to make.

Job well done, if I say so myself, not only are they edible but they actually look quite pretty. And no houses were damaged in the process of their creation. My Mum was so proud of my efforts, she's forcing me to make dinner this evening. Crap. Can you cook? If so, whats your favourite recipe?

Happy Wednesday!

Ingredients:

170g Flour

60g Sugar

Splash of Vanilla Essence

4oz Butter

Looking a tad horrific here

 And the final result:



Rough Patch

I have to apologise again for the recent lack of activity on this blog. I've been back in college over the past week, and although I don't have many hours; it takes up a lot of my time. Also this week has been a tough one for me because of things going on in my life that I'd rather not talk about. While I'm trying to return to normal, I just don't feel like myself. College doesn't "fulfill" me but because I need a degree before I can pursue what I want, even though I don't see myself using it, I feel I have to soldier on with it. On top of my rotten week and unhappiness in college, my laptop still hasn't been brought to be fixed so I haven't had the time to post or write anything.

Even more than this, because the personal issues mentioned above have surfaced, I simply haven't wanted to put on make up, make an effort or act like I'm particularly happy. Now, don't get me wrong, I will be fine. This is just a bad patch I'm going through, and hopefully will pass soon.

I announced on Twitter yesterday that I was thinking of deleting my blog. It was only when so many of you told me not to that I realised just how much it means to me. My blog is something that has kept me active and made me feel happy when I'm down. And from the bottom of my heart I want to thank everyone who has supported it and to those who made me realise that deleting it would be a massive mistake.

So, I was flicking through my notebook and saw a little project I'd started  a few weeks ago after reading Sofia's Journal, it was the things that make me happy. This made me realise that although I feel a bit crap now, there are so many other things that make me happy and are worth being upbeat for.

Anyway, I just wanted to apologise for my lack of effort and I'm really going to try to get back into it over the next few weeks; starting with a review of the Estee Lauder skincare tomorrow. Any requests would be appreciated as I really want to start enjoying this blog again.

 (In no order, obviously)

Happy Sunday!